Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize