is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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