If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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