i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
