just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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