I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
