you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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