No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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