ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You made out with two different species that night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
