I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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