My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
