She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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