It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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