I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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