considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
