i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
