Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize