To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wanna go halves on a baby?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
