We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
