put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
