Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize