anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
