I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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