Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
