Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize