U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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