would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
