come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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