seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Houston, we have a squirter
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize