I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
