yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
