umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
