Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
