You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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