Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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