brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
