His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
