I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
