so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
