i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
