Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
