im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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