last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
