I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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