I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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