you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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