boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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