I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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