I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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