Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
false alarm, still single
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