i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
