She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
