how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize