Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
