I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
