I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
