I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
These tits shall not be calmed
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