what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
