For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
