dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
