I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
