A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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