Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
