My brain says no but my pants say off.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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